Turn About IS Fair Play: Women Over Forty
Ready to go on a date anyone?
Last week we asked the eternal question: “Do Men Find Women Over Forty Attractive?” Seems only fair to follow up with …
“What Is The Most Important Thing That Would Attract A Woman Over Forty To A Man?”
Ladies??…..
Okay, so while you are formulating your personal list of druthers here’s some of the stuff I ran across whilst searching the net:
--He ought to have a job. Possibly make more money than you (men can be funny that way if they don’t). He doesn’t need to be rich, just not need any of your money.
--Not refer to his ex as ‘the bitch’ or dwell on how awful she was/how terrible the relationship was, yahdah, yahdah…
--Have a ‘good personality’ (whatever that is) I suspect most women when saying this are looking for a guy who takes a genuine interest in them (not just their cleavage) perhaps demonstrated by the proper asking of questions—listening to answers and remembering what you’ve told them. That is unless he is so stunned by your beauty that he simply cannot remain composed enough to remember a thing you have said. In which case, he needs to tell you that-- with ensuing mirth and happiness. Lol.
--Should not be addicted to porn, drugs or himself. Nuf said.
--Be reliable. Show up when you say you are going to. Do what you promise. Follow through. Closely tied to the use of the word "Integrity".
--He’s good to his parents, especially his mom. After all the glitter and shiny newness of the relationship has worn off he WILL treat you like he treats his mom and sisters. Pay attention.
--Clean. Smell nice, clean clothes—you know, grooming. This doesn’t take much time, but it does show self-respect as well as respect for those he is around. (That at the moment being you, his date) Even if he's not a pretty boy, a woman always appreciates a man who takes care of himself. It doesn't cost much to stay healthy and clean.
--Shows passion for something positive—whether that is life, children or you---not the couch, television, video games or interminable sports (Or his bromance).
--A sense of humor seems to rank very high on the list as well. He smiles often… knows how to have fun, has an idea or two of where to have that fun and finds the fun in anywhere he goes. ( and that does not necessarily mean the pub, my Brit friend says) “He holds my heart because we laugh so much” is the quote I think sums this up sweetly.
--Attitude. This is the one thing it takes none of the former to –form. It is always under his control and it is the one essential ingredient as to whether or not he/you will enjoy this life either alone or as a couple. There certainly is a better chance of remaining a happy couple if that attitude is adjusted to the positive and sees the joy in life.
So what think you, gentle readers? Had time to assemble your own list?
10 comments:
I am attracted to men over forty. I have always had a crush on Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard on NG Star Trek). I think it's his voice/accent. I like a guy to have a deep voice and to be smart. I want to be able to have a conversation with him.
Some guys get hotter as they get older. I think the actor Tim Matheson is way hotter now.
Back when I was a rock goddess I had all kinds of hot guys after me, but as soon as they opened their mouth, I was turned off. I guess you would call them man candy. Not into that.
I loved this pose. I found all of the qualities to be ones I would be attracted to and all are qualities my husband has. We have been married for 26 years as of next week. I was 18 and he was 21 when we wed. I would add the ability to adapt when things change. Willingness to work through issues instead of taking the easy way out. Integrity is important to me. My husband is the kind of man who would drive back through the drive through at the bank to give back money when he was given too much. He has done this and his honesty is important to me. I was raised the same way. I have health issues and my husband also takes his vows seriously. That's part of adapting to whatever comes along too I guess. Some guys leave when there are things to deal with. Thanks for listening.
A sense of humor is a must. It doesn't even have to be hysterical funny. Just someone who can laugh and make me laugh with them.
And please try your best to defeat the gravity that works on us all! I may be more voluptuous than I was a few decades ago, but I still like to see a man who takes care of his body, as I try to take care of mine. I've told my husband that I can't stand the image being sold to us on TV shows of the tiny, hot wife, with the big, fat, slob of a boorish husband (the Honeymooners were the originals for this! Then the Flintstones and so many others since then.) Men who can't even see their own shoes, let alone little "willy" need to realize what they actually look like, not what they remember from years ago!
Intelligence. Doesn't have to be Einstein, but must have a rich vocabulary, well-rounded knowledge (doesn't hurt if it's in subjects that complement, rather than match, my own), and a head for amusing and offbeat trivia.
Kindness/compassion (coupled with the ability to poke fun at himself and anyone who is seriously asking for it).
Courtesy - hasn't stopped holding doors just because a few women insist on being nasty when he does.
Reasonably good (healthy) physical shape (does not have to be Adonis, but preferably is not sporting a beer gut that makes people question whether he is with child).
Is not threatened by silence, and can even enjoy it - but can also hold up his end of a good conversation.
Has a good sense of humor that is not bigoted or mean-spirited (again, poking fun at those who work hard to bring it on themselves isn't necessarily "mean-spirited").
Lucky me - he's mine, already, and has been for over half my life, now. ;)
Qualities that I (as a woman definitely over 40) find attractive in a man. Three things immediately come to mind, listed here in no particular order other than alphabetical: humor, integrity, and intelligence.
Hello,
I'm well over forty and happily married but if I were not here is a list of things that would attract me.
1. He's gotta have one of those sexy deep voices, for example the country music artist Trace Adkins, that voice just makes me melt.
2. He needs to have a sense of humor because laughter is one of the best medicines for me. I have different forms of arthritis throughout my body which correlates into being in pain daily.
3. He must be a man willing to share household duties and not expect me to do everything for him, unless I choose to do things for him.
4. He must be an understanding person. Primarily because of my health conditions I need a great deal of help coping with finances and life in general.
5. He needs to be an alpha type of male yet not be afraid to show his softer, some would say his feminine side.
6. He must put 100% into maintaining our marriage as I would put the same amount into our relationship as well.
7. He doesn't have to be an adonis type of man because I focus more on his personality than I do his looks.
8. Finally he must have good communication skills and be able to talk about how he feels with me on whatever topic we may be discussing.
9. Forgot that he must not be a :momma's boy" I absolutely hate those types.
Everything else is negotiable as far as I am concerned. Although good looks will sometimes attract my attention I have to admit that it is his a** that I watch when he isn't looking. I just want a man that will make a good companion because once that wedding occurs I will not sign any divorce papers because when I said I do I meant it for a life time. I will even go to a marriage counselor before I consider that this marriage is no longer doable but that doesn't mean I sign papers it just means that we will now live a separate life in separate houses. He will be allowed to pursue any woman he may want to after I have moved out but I will not let him marry another. Because those marriage vows which said in sickness and in health for richer or poorer and so long as you both should live meant something to me and I would hope it meant something to him.
Incidentally I just celebrated my birthday on the thirteenth and my thirteenth wedding anniversary on the twentieth of this month. The hubs and I both believe that this marriage is for keeps.
Have a great day. I hope my answers to your question help you out.
Robin
Robbibird3@aol.com
ladybirdrobi@yahoo.com
Well, well gals. Great lists. Love the notion of a deep voice. ANd Patrick Stewart is definitely the definition of sexy and bald! (So many guys think the two are mutually exclusive--not so!)
You girls with health challenges--yes, so important to have a guy who will stand by you. Even we who are in good health appreciate a man who holds up his end of household chores and finances. Susan--'adapting'---very good word to describe what we all hope for. :)
Holly--you're a lucky gal indeed. Love the 'not threatened by silence" comment.
Robin...yeah, I'd say it's a keeper.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I think we all help not only the other commentors but those who lurk by sharing our thoughts and feeling. You gals ROCK!! Thank you!
Christine
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